I feel like crying, i feel like dying.

I'm feeling ignored by other people.

I wanna live like last year.

Although many things happen last year but i feel happy, don't know why.

I think if one day i really leave this world, no one will ever realize me.

No one will ever miss me.

No one will ever love me.

No one will ever hope to see me.

Other people has their own people to love,

but i at the other hand, have to love those who has their own people to love.

If one day you don't see me anymore.

Well, nothing weird about that.

If one day you see me as another person.

Well, who won't change after all those sad stuffs in my head.

I wanna hurt myself!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't take it no more.

I can't seem to find any other way to make me feel better.

Argh~!

I hate my life!!!! I hate myself!!!! I hate evrything!!!!

I wanna wanna wanna hurt myself!!!! Grr!!!!

A Lonely Road

I would really need
a shoulder to lie on,
a someone to cry to,
a life to move on
and a someone to talk to.

I feel lonely nowadays,
i'm walking through solo everyday.
I want someone to keep me company,
so that i won't feel that i'm in any lonely.

Sometimes i would feel like crying,
sometimes i would even feel like dying.
I just don't get why this feeling appears to me,
i want my life back like the way it should be.

Oh Lord, please forgive me,
for all of the harm that i've did.
Just please don't let me run this world solo,
because that's the only thing that makes me so low.='(

My wish is to say 'Goodbye'.

Today's topic of the day is 'My wish is to say Goodbye'. From the title, i think you can figure out what situation am i in now hei? Well, yeah! My life now is like really suckish. It's not because i feel unhappy that i have to leave my friends and take off to sri aman to have my competition, as a matter a fact, i really wish i could go there faster. I don't know why these days my mind is all about leaving here as fast as possible, maybe because i feel unhappy. Many things happen these days like usual. Nothing new about my life, though.== I found out many of my bestfriends are having their own 'partner' already, as for me i'm still stuck SINGLE. It's not that i'm jealous but it's just that i feel left out. I feel lonely. I feel sad. Now, when i have any problems, i can't seem to find the right person to listen to my problems. Well, you know why? Cause most of my friends are busy with their own lives and i don't wanna bother them. And there's something which i am super PISSED about but i don't wanna say it out. I just wanna let that person know that I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE LIKE ME, that's all. If u find it so hard to listen to my advises then i'm fine with it. The person that is going to suffer from sadness is definately not me and it will also not going to be me helping you with your problems or all sort of bullshits. So, that is the freaking reason why i wanna leave as fast as possible. I HATE THIS PLACE! I wanna go some place else where i can loosen my mind and put those annoying stuffs behind me. I also want to leave this place because i feel that this place is just full of LIES. I feel so miserable and annoyed living here. I'm sick with all of this bullshit. People say i'm not trustworthy, well look in the mirror people, you guys aren't that perfect either. Zz.

My life before and during the holidays

Guess what? I've got some good news and bad news. hmm. Nothing weird about that though. Shit. I'm going out of topic now.== Ok. So let's get to the point, ever seens the time i've last blog is like 'so long ago in betlehem'. Get what am i saying? Hahas. I compit in the under18 open competition with my friend, yenn tiing. Actually many things happened before the competition starts which is we arguing with s**** again. She's justacting to selfish, she wanted me, siew ling and yenn tiing to play for her team and we all agreed. Then, after a few days later she told me that she wants me to play only and no need siew ling and yenn tiing to be in the team. Although i get to play but i was really pissed with the way she treated both of them. Oh my gosh, imagine you asking people to play for your team and end up kicking them out without them knowing? Although i'm not them, but that feeling definately sucks. So i decided to play for Siburan. Well, there's only 2 words to describe this team which is 'DAMN GOOD'. Enjoy playing with them, they're good in skills and also good in personality. Love them~!=D Just because playing for their team, i got the chance to get chosen for kuching selection. Something i couldn't get every year. Guess what? From this selection, i FINALLY had my dream come through which is to represent kuching. I was pretty shock at first because i didn't expect i'll get selected. I played really like shit when training with them, sometimes i still think that those who didn't get chosen deserves the spotlight better than i do. Haish. Anyway, fate has brought me here, so i won't let it past just like that. I'm gonna train hard to get the champions in the interdivision competition held at sri aman next month. I wanna try to get selected for Sarawak, a little impossible for people with standards like me but not impossible for humans like everyone of us, right?=) The conclusion to my post today is that i'm gonna be hell of busy with basketball trainings during the holidays, not only for division competition but also the upcoming under16 competition. Hehes. GO GO GO KUCHING TEAM and KUCHING HIGH TEAM.=D

Sorry

i know i've hurted you many times and i apologize.
i know why are you unhappy and stuffs but please do understand that i'm truthfully 'sorry'.
i just want us to get along well like before.
i never thought i'll still mean so much to you.
but if you're unhappy at least let me know,
like that i could try to change.
it's not that i care about her too much or what so ever.
i care about other people the same way too.
if i don't care about you, what for i bother to mind about everything and go on moody?
although IF i really did treat her better but there's also a reason.
there's always a reason to everything i do,
but not all reasons i can be able to tell.
not that i don't wanna tell, it's just that i don't know what kind of way i can use to tell you.
a way where you and the others can believe.
believe me or not, i don't mind.
but all i want to say is 'I'M SORRY'.

Whoots~!!!!!!

Dead blog updated!!!!!

It had been months ever seens i've last updated my blog.

hmmmm.....

Well, I'm BACK~!!!!=D

=D

Just stopped by to wish everyone a

HAPPY TIGER 'RAWR!!!!!' YEAR!

whoots~!

sorry for the dead blog. hehes.

running out of ideas these days.xT